Blogtations

While quote hunting last week, a definite theme arose: SEX. And instead of rationing out the sayings over time, I decided to have a little quote orgy and post them all today. Enjoy!
(Image used with permsssion © Chrisharvey | Dreamstime.com)

Bedroom Secrets of the Suburban Dad...You think it's hard to pick up a woman in a bar? Puh-leeze. These guys have to convince a woman who has fallen asleep in her clothes reading Thomas the Tank Engine stories that what she really wants right now is some midnight romance under the giant pile of laundry covering the master bed.

~Suburban Kamikaze

Laughter, orgasms, and ice-cream are the best guarantees of happiness.

~Crouton Boy

The "Was it good for you?" type of question annoys me to no end. First, if he's paying attention, he already knows the answer. Second, if he has to ask the question, chances are he isn't going to like the answer. Third, if you ask me that question, I'm going to assume you really want to know the answer and I'm going to give it to you.

~It's Hard Work Being This Easy

I like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, but not making love at midnight. Hey, I have three little kids, I can't just be putting out at all hours of the day and night.

~Paper Napkin

Someone's been pranking me. It's gotten to the point that we're about to make the phone company trace the calls. They call me only on my cell, and it involves a lot of heavy breathing. But not in a good way. Sort of like a cross between Darth Vader and Kermit the Frog after he's gone down on Miss Piggy one too many times (which is truly...one too many times.)

~I am Norman

The weekend was made for beer.

~Going Like Sixty 

This morning I woke up with a new purpose, to take our treadmill for a spin...I huffed and puffed through a thirty minute workout, walked over 2 miles and burned...what? Only 200 calories?! The display is clearly malfunctioning.

~Baby Tunnel Exodus

I don't like to take an unprotected left in traffic. It makes me feel completely panicked. I will go around the block and out of my way to enjoy the calm, predictable experience of a Left Turn Arrow or a 4-way stop.

~Chicken Fried Therapy 

Just a question...are you hungry? What have you eaten today? Did it cost you a month's salary? How does a guilt complex taste to you?

~A Life of Perpetual Transition

I'm not scared of terrorists - I'm scared of my own country. I see a government who cares more for large corporations than it does for individuals, and who would rather spend thousands of dollars investigating steroid use in baseball than think up a way to give all Americans basic health coverage.

~A Mommy Story

I do not serve myself or the rest of the world by allowing someone else's stamp of validation to determine whether or not I am living a positive, inspiring, meaningful life.

~Swirly Girl

I park my car at the opposite end of the building where I work...that counts as exercise, right?

~Clusterfook

One might think that adding a second child to the mix might double the time it takes to do anything...Adding a second child actually squares the amount of time it takes to complete a task. What might've taken ten minutes with one child will take one hundred minutes with two.

~Cynical Dad

The last time I woke up pleasantly was, I believe, in the early 1990s.

~Raising Country Kids