Blogtations

I feel like a dog turd that someone hammered with a mallet and then set on fire in front of Jabba the Hut’s door, and he fell for the gag, so he stomped me out with his slimy tail-thing.

~Sarcastic Mom

Figuring kids out is not hard. It’s just scary.

~Snippets of Life

Just because it’s okay doesn’t mean it’s comfortable.

~The Cerebral Mum

You can always tell when you're talking to someone who's been audited by the IRS. You mention those three letters and beads of sweat pop out on their brow. Their eyes take on that panicked bulge to them, the look you usually see on sheep right before they mow all of their wool off - the one that says, "You're going to leave me naked and I really don't understand why."

~Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper

Went to the doctor, lost another pound and a half. Yipee. At this rate I will be slim by menopause.

~Sojourner's Truths

As any child with a pail or adult with a pocket can tell you, the wet stone glittering in the sun often turns into something quite ordinary when you try to bring it home.

~Simply Wait

The Number One thing I don't want to hear my girlfriend say while she's waxing my eyebrows: "Whoops!"

~Suburban Lesbian

Brunch. What a fabulously promising word, evocative of lazy Sunday mornings, meeting with your friends at a sunny terrace, all of you a little sleepy and deliciously carefree, to share the kind of simple and comforting food that makes you feel like a kid again.

~Chocolate and Zucchini

There are few things that scar a parent for life worse than the potty training years.

~Attack of the Redneck Mommy

Hamburger Helper. A clever concoction of chemicals designed to make hamburger and noodles look like you cared.

~Meno's Blog

Today I was reminded of a set of triplets I knew when I was just out of high school. They were identical and their names were...and I can’t believe their mom and dad did this to them...Peter, Paul and Murray.

~Flummel, Flummer, Flummo

No matter how cold the air, no matter how fierce the winds, the Chickadees are there. In the trees. Singing like they haven’t a care in the world.

~Neuroti.ca

The meaning of life is in the pursuit of it.

~Open Book

On January 12, in less than a week, I will turn 35.  It does not escape my notice that this is the age at which Dante Alighieri went to hell.

~The Search for Love in Manhattan

I spend most of my blogging time deciding what not to post.

~Seth Godin's Blog

I think part of the reason some of us have a strong propensity to procreate is due to our subconscious need to relearn everything we should still know but don't. To learn the things we never should have forgotten. Like why the moon is sometimes orange and why hermit crabs are always redecorating.

~Greek Tragedy

My life is short. I want it to be really good and full of pasta.

~Crazy Aunt Purl

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know that you’re coming down with the flu or scurvy or PMS and you want to just keel over and curl up in the fetal position but you can’t because there is table side prepared guacamole and pomegranate margaritas in your future?

~No Pasa Nada 

I stopped reading music magazines in 2001 when I couldn't take one more critic using the phrase "pop sensibilities."

~Dooce

I love cleaning out my external hard drive. It gives me such a sense of purpose.

~Confessions of a Pioneer Woman