I hate my period. And by "hate" I don't just mean your average, run-of-the-mill, "I hate it when telemarketers call" kind of hate. I mean I well and truly hate my period. I hate it with the white hot passion of a thousand blazing suns...I am one of those women who will usher in menopause with a big, fat party. Anyone I have ever met in my life will be invited. I will expect lavish gifts and exuberant, over-the-top congratulations from all. I will have balloon animals and a special sky-writing airplane, announcing to all who look to the heavens that I AM NO LONGER OVULATING! HALLELUJAH!