TRANSLATION: "Seriously, woman, privacy and relaxation are sooooo overrated. Let me shower with you so that you have the added activity of trying to keep me upright while I slip on wet marble and my skin has the texture of a greased pig."
"Mommy," he said "I made you something at school today." "Oh really?" I asked "What is it?" "I can't tell you." he replied. "It is a surprise. For Christmas. For Christmas I made you a picture frame. I made a picture frame with a picture of me in it. Teacher Lisa took pictures of all the kids at my school and we made picture frames for our parents for Christmas, but it is a secret."
For the better part of a day, I've been craving an apple. Not just any apple–a big red macintosh apple cut up into pieces for me to devour in an easy manner. I thought this was because the secretary that sits outside of my office had an apple. I wondered how an apple so small could create such a big fragrance that would have me, sitting in my office, drooling over its delicious scent. Then I remembered...I put an air freshener in here today...The scent? Macintosh Apple. Sometimes it takes me awhile to be as clever as the average bear.
One of the best things about working as an aide in a second grade classroom is being with kids who are, for the most part, too young to be corrupt. When they say something inappropriate, it comes from a pure and innocent place. So, when the teacher asked for an example of a word with the "short i" sound, and a student raised his hand and said, "Tit"...shouldn't he get partial credit?
I bought some new barbecue sauce the other day. Other people have exciting lives where they take expensive vacations to faraway lands and swim with dolphins and meet millionaire movie stars... I get excited by spending a quiet evening at home, trying new kinds of barbecue sauce. What can I say. It's cheaper than plane tickets.
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