Blogtations

I want another baby, but my husband says we can't until I prove I can remember to feed the dog three nights in a row.

~Barefoot Foodie

Dear Richard,
When comparing our baby to a hungry piglet, please keep in mind that this hilarious scenario makes me a sow.
I love you forever and always,
Erin

~The Thing Is...

At about 9, I changed and nursed a surprisingly fussy little girl. When I lifted her to my shoulder to burp, I was pleased to hear a big one. And then I felt something warm run DOWN. MY. BACK. Oh, and wait. In my hair. All over my pillow. All over the sheets. I wiped everything off and got dressed. Then I brushed out my solidified hair. Whatever. I think part of being a mommy is that you smell like barf most of the time. Still, there's nothing like a little barf in your butt-crack first thing in the morning, right?

~Haiku Baby

New mothers often wonder why babies cry so much, and can't sleep for long stretches without requiring their parents' input. I don't wonder anymore. I know why. Babies require regular input because mothers must not be allowed to sleep for long periods of time. Certainly they must never be allowed to sleep and sleep until they have enough and are fully rested. And this is why: If a mother allowed her body to sleep until it woke up of its own accord, she would starve to death.

~Killing a Fly with a Ukulele is Probably the Wrong Thing to Do

There is a pickle on my bed-side table. (Yeah! Go on and digest that, internets!) The baby, she likes her pickles, so she does. The other day, we went upstairs for her nap and I found clutched in her little hand, a grimy pickle. I removed it and uhm, it's still on my nightstand. Albeit a tiny, tiny bit shriveled. (Am thinking of keeping it. And naming it Ernie. Maybe I'll knit it a wee sweater.)

~Too Fabulous for Words

"So how's the baby sleeping?"
What, the dark circles under my eyes aren't enough of an answer?

~Mothergoosemouse

Platitudes do not shoes on the baby put.

~One Swell Foop