Blogtations

Middle Twerp has some type of oral fixation. The child was born with a quarter, three army men, and a Bic pen top in his mouth. Seriously. I just held out my hand as I laid in the stirrups and told him in a firm voice, Spit those out. The doctors were a little perplexed, but I knew it was just the beginning of what was to come.

~Dreams of a Country Girl

I was one of those women who wanted a "natural childbirth" and no unnecessary medical interventions. You know that those nurses were laughing their asses off when they looked at the birth plan attached to my chart. After active labor for 14+ hours with no relief, I asked for the epidural. I wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist, but, dude, we'd just met, and I was having another man's baby. It would have been awkward. Having to be told when a contraction was happening, because you couldn't feel the pain? Priceless. Having your doctor, plus another doctor, several nurses, and five or so doctors-in-training, plus possibly a janitor, staring at your business, while your legs are in the air? No problem! ... Just. Get. This. Baby. Out!

~Postcards From Motherhood

I had all three daughters with no pain medication because I was afraid of having a needle placed in my spine for an epidural. It hurt but as I was in labor it became a contest between my mind and my body. I wondered if I could actually do it. I now have hemorrhoids.

~Cardiogirl

I'll never forget that sensation of giving birth quickly. One day, you'll see a movie in which there's a graphic depiction of an air bag explosively deploying with a loud "Pkwhwwwrtt" noise...THAT is what it was like.

~Killing a Fly with a Ukulele is Probably the Wrong Thing to Do