Blogtations

When I was 17, my dad took me to the Hofbrau House in Munich. He bought me a laughably gigantic mug of beer (which I pretended was my first). "Son," he said to me. "But Dad, I'm a girl." He replied, "Just humor me for a few minutes."

~Manager Mom

Note to Self: For once in your life, learn from your mistakes. Next time you feel a sneeze coming on… Put. The. Coffee. Down.

~Therapy in the Making

I drink sixteen shots of espresso a day. At least it isn't street drugs.

~Mommas Tantrum

I like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, but not making love at midnight. Hey, I have three little kids, I can't just be putting out at all hours of the day and night.

~Paper Napkin

The weekend was made for beer.

~Going Like Sixty 

Take a big cup of strong coffee with an equal amount of Baileys, mix it all together and voila! You have a pretty relaxing workday!

~The Road Less Unraveled

Bad coffee is better than no coffee.

~Living a Quotable Life

Never agree to play strip poker if you are so drunk that you think you are about to play black jack.

~Invading Holland

If you are using an empty coke bottle to clean your brushes while painting never put the full coke bottle that you are actually drinking from with in reach. If the watery paint taste does not make you realize your error the paint brush hitting you in the back of the throat will.

~Invading Holland

Let me be clear. When someone, most unwittingly, suggests we go rock climbing for a fun weekend adventure, my first impulse is to club them with a full bottle of chianti.

~Blue Poppy

I never refuse champagne.

~Ali Thinks

If you are over the age of 40, take two baby aspirin. I find these are particularly beneficial if taken with a margarita.

~Momo Fali's

I woke with a hangover, which is very unfair, as I wasn't drinking last night.

~Grandad

My idea of going on a nature hike is to look at pictures of a nature hike on my computer while I sit in an air conditioned Panera with a big mug of coffee.

~BooMama

Starbucks flubbed my order and ended up giving me a Venti Mocha coffee and a Venti Mocha Frappuccino. I drank both of them within a 90-minute period…I'm feeling so good I may never drink anything but coffee ever again.

~Don't Try This at Home

I'm in Oxford, Mississippi, where I have consumed approximately fifty-nine pounds of fried catfish and seventy gallons of sweet tea and enough wine to give an ox a migraine.

~Maud Newton

When it's late at night, I pour myself a drink and watch re-runs of "Extreme Makeover" so I can cry myself to sleep.

~Metro Dad

Tea makes me feel safe.

~Mighty Girl