Blogtations

There are two types of people in this world. The people who put little marshmallows in fruit salad, and the people who don't.

~Barefoot Foodie

Why do I have a butter knife in my hand? Hmm, it has mayo on it, I must have been making a sandwich. But wait, why am I standing in the bathroom? Wait, I don't even have any lunch meat. And, where are my pants?

I haven't slept much lately. Is it obvious?

~Barefoot Foodie

There is a pickle on my bed-side table. (Yeah! Go on and digest that, internets!) The baby, she likes her pickles, so she does. The other day, we went upstairs for her nap and I found clutched in her little hand, a grimy pickle. I removed it and uhm, it's still on my nightstand. Albeit a tiny, tiny bit shriveled. (Am thinking of keeping it. And naming it Ernie. Maybe I'll knit it a wee sweater.)

~Too Fabulous for Words

No drinking maple syrup from the bottle - always use a cup.

~Tinsenpup

I know. I'm going to hell. God maintains a special hell for parents who confess to feeding their children cupcakes for dinner.

~Breed 'Em and Weep

Do you know what happens the day after you resolve to get fit for life and sign a contract to move to Shanghai? They put a #@*(+$! cooler full of Ben & Jerry's in the cafeteria at work.

~Sanguine Spice

Eating is a competitive sport in my family. We don't eat until we're full; we eat until we're tired.

~Foolery

Today's annoyance is the word "organic." ... The reason I am annoyed is because a girl I work with was talking about food and said, "Oh. I only eat organic fruits and veggies." To which I replied, "Yeah, me too. Those man-made fruits are HELL on teeth."

~Kentucky Girl

To our Holy Trinity of Takeout (aka Boston Market, Kit's Thai Kitchen, and Domino's Pizza): Thank you for your continued existence. Without you, my family would be subsisting on a weekly diet of rice cakes, frozen turkey sausage, and rotting bananas.

~Manager Mom

I've concluded that only single people eat Ramen. It's like our official meal or something. And while it would be nice to have the constant companionship of a marriage, I would never give up the noodles for a man.

~The Daily Tannenbaum

Don't you hate it when you find out that the LOW fat REDUCED calorie blueberry loaf at Starbucks has 28 grams of sugar and 400 calories?

~Real. Life. Ramblings.

The estrogen death march continues as I wander around my house looking for something. What the fuck am I looking for?! I open the fridge. I walk back to my room. I go back to the fridge. Do I want cookies? Alcohol? Rice pudding? Popcorn? Maybe that was it. Maybe I came in here to get popcorn. No. I’m not even hungry. So what is it then? Am I tired? Am I lonely? Am I bored? What time is it? Shouldn't I be doing something right now? Am I late for something? Do I need to be somewhere? What day is it? Where am I?

~Seed Book

Laughter, orgasms, and ice-cream are the best guarantees of happiness.

~Crouton Boy

Just a question...are you hungry? What have you eaten today? Did it cost you a month's salary? How does a guilt complex taste to you?

~A Life of Perpetual Transition

Somehow a chicken nugget found its way into my root-beer...and I drank the whole thing without noticing.

~Dad Thing

The twins have finally started holding each other's hands. The sad part is, they're doing it to help each other climb into cupboards and sneak into the cookies.

~Mind Moss

If you put your bake potato lunch down on your chair while you clean some space on your desk for it, what ever you do, don't sit down.

~Invading Holland

I use my chopsticks with as much skill as a walrus.

~A Girl and a Boy

I'm still upset that I never had a Snoopy Snowcone Maker.

~Imaginary Binky

I like gummy bears, but don't you feel like we'll find out someday that they're really made of plastic and that they just sit in a ball in your stomach and you never really digest them? And that eventually we'll all give birth to an eight pound gummy baby?

~The Cupcake Tent

Lucky for me, I'm obsessive compulsive. Or maybe obsessive impulsive. I don't have to open and close the door four times, but if I eat one of the truffles, chances are I will eat all of the truffles.

~Katie Alender

I like picking apples. In theory.

~The Cupcake Tent

How to recognize the last day of mid-winter break: I can say things like, "Who dumped the new tub of yogurt out on the stairs?" with absolutely no emotion.

~Nurturing Narcissim

I read somewhere that it takes 3 weeks to break a habit...I'm going to give it a try. Starting tomorrow, of course. There's a piece of cheesecake calling my name right now.

~Because I Said So

I once made French toast with rye bread. Not one of my better ideas.

~Scheiss Weekly