Blogtations

As a general concept, I think house guests are pretty great. It's like having a slumber party, only you can cuss without getting in trouble, and the mean girl from second grade isn't around to make you cry anymore, and instead of Dr. Pepper and Funyuns, you can share such things as salami and cherries and bottles of rosé and pappardelle with bagna cauda, wilted radicchio, and eggs fried in olive oil. I think we can all get behind that.

~Orangette

Do not by any stretch of the imagination think that putting the leftover ham in a pot and turning on the burner and then going back to bed is a good idea.

~Tell Me About It

There are two types of people in this world. The people who put little marshmallows in fruit salad, and the people who don't.

~Barefoot Foodie

Why do I have a butter knife in my hand? Hmm, it has mayo on it, I must have been making a sandwich. But wait, why am I standing in the bathroom? Wait, I don't even have any lunch meat. And, where are my pants?

I haven't slept much lately. Is it obvious?

~Barefoot Foodie

There is a pickle on my bed-side table. (Yeah! Go on and digest that, internets!) The baby, she likes her pickles, so she does. The other day, we went upstairs for her nap and I found clutched in her little hand, a grimy pickle. I removed it and uhm, it's still on my nightstand. Albeit a tiny, tiny bit shriveled. (Am thinking of keeping it. And naming it Ernie. Maybe I'll knit it a wee sweater.)

~Too Fabulous for Words

No drinking maple syrup from the bottle - always use a cup.

~Tinsenpup

God maintains a special hell for parents who confess to feeding their children cupcakes for dinner.

~Breed 'Em and Weep

Do you know what happens the day after you resolve to get fit for life and sign a contract to move to Shanghai? They put a #@*(+$! cooler full of Ben & Jerry's in the cafeteria at work.

~Sanguine Spice

Eating is a competitive sport in my family. We don't eat until we're full; we eat until we're tired.

~Foolery

Today's annoyance is the word "organic." ... The reason I am annoyed is because a girl I work with was talking about food and said, "Oh. I only eat organic fruits and veggies." To which I replied, "Yeah, me too. Those man-made fruits are HELL on teeth."

~Kentucky Girl

To our Holy Trinity of Takeout (aka Boston Market, Kit's Thai Kitchen, and Domino's Pizza): Thank you for your continued existence. Without you, my family would be subsisting on a weekly diet of rice cakes, frozen turkey sausage, and rotting bananas.

~Manager Mom

I've concluded that only single people eat Ramen. It's like our official meal or something. And while it would be nice to have the constant companionship of a marriage, I would never give up the noodles for a man.

~The Daily Tannenbaum

Don't you hate it when you find out that the LOW fat REDUCED calorie blueberry loaf at Starbucks has 28 grams of sugar and 400 calories?

~Real. Life. Ramblings.

The estrogen death march continues as I wander around my house looking for something. What the fuck am I looking for?! I open the fridge. I walk back to my room. I go back to the fridge. Do I want cookies? Alcohol? Rice pudding? Popcorn? Maybe that was it. Maybe I came in here to get popcorn. No. I’m not even hungry. So what is it then? Am I tired? Am I lonely? Am I bored? What time is it? Shouldn't I be doing something right now? Am I late for something? Do I need to be somewhere? What day is it? Where am I?

~Seed Book

Laughter, orgasms, and ice-cream are the best guarantees of happiness.

~Crouton Boy

Just a question...are you hungry? What have you eaten today? Did it cost you a month's salary? How does a guilt complex taste to you?

~A Life of Perpetual Transition

Somehow a chicken nugget found its way into my root-beer...and I drank the whole thing without noticing.

~Dad Thing

The twins have finally started holding each other's hands. The sad part is, they're doing it to help each other climb into cupboards and sneak into the cookies.

~Mind Moss

If you put your bake potato lunch down on your chair while you clean some space on your desk for it, what ever you do, don't sit down.

~Invading Holland

I use my chopsticks with as much skill as a walrus.

~A Girl and a Boy