How the fuck do you throw away a trashcan?
Seriously. I've tried: Putting it out on the curb empty. Putting it out on the curb empty with other full trash cans around it. Putting it out on the curb upside down. Putting a sign in front of it that said "Trash". The sign was taken, the can was not. Taping a sign to it that said "Trash". The sign was taken, the can was not. Putting it inside a larger trash can. Putting it on its side on the curb with trash bags on top of it. Putting it in a trash bag, as much of it as I could fit in there. Running after the garbage truck, with the can over my head, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "Why do you mock me?!? Take my trashcan!" resulting in the garbage truck peeling off and my neighbors being pissed at me that none of their trash got picked up that day.
I may just have to take a chainsaw to it.