I spend long, intense hours in front of the computer, entertaining...Oh God, now I've made it sound like I lock myself in my bedroom and rub oil all over my body and make kissy faces at a webcam all day. Not that I wouldn't consider it, but I don't think there's a huge market for skinny-ish, cellulite-bearing, middle-aged women saying repeatedly, "Oooh Baby...Oooh Baby...Hang on a sec...Sweetie, Mama's working. I'll be out in a little while. You have to stop knocking, Honey, it's messing up the audio...What's on fire?"
Occasionally, I google "cabins in the woods" and daydream about places I think I can runaway. Then, something breaks through my fantasy state and I realize I would need an income, which leads me to google, "jobs in mountain towns". Realizing I wouldn't be able to afford makeup or hair color, I search: "Bland, gray haired ladies working at park services". Well, heck, with that sort of income and the cost of living by then, there goes the health club membership. Okay, so I google, "Crooked old ladies in the woods." Then I realize I wouldn't be rockin' a solid health insurance plan, which I would need if I were killing game for food. How about "Into the Geriatric Wild" ... Aren't you glad I'm not your financial planner?
Alcoholics have their booze, smokers have their cigarettes, crackheads have their...crack. As an editor, trivia buff, curious human, and language snob with a constant need to prove people wrong, I have Google.
Why is meeting people online still considered such a taboo? Tsk, these days I wouldn't let a guy anywhere near me unless I knew beforehand what his top five favourite films are and where he puts his apostrophes.
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