I discovered something today at a popular department store: I don't need a new bathing suit to make me look like I just had a baby. I can do that in a bathing suit I bought last summer. Aaaaany old suit will do.
I ran out to pick up a second bathing suit at lunch — at my only option, your friend and mine, TJ Maxx — and once again, my Darwinian failings reared their ugly head when I opted to try on some suits immediately after stuffing a cupcake in my gaping maw. Cupcake belly = not flattering, unless you’re planning on buying a Spandex muumuu, and even then, it had better be of the Miracle Suit variety, preferably with steel reinforcements.
Rules for the wading pool Do not put your peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the water. Do not dump your glass of lemonade in the water. Or throw it at your brother. Grapes do not float. Do not put them in the wading pool. Pretzels do float. Do not put them in the wading pool. You must keep your swim trunks/swim diaper on at all times. Preferably covering your butt crack.
The Easter Bunny is pleased to report that last summer when all of the pool accessories and stuff went on clearance, there was a trip to Target wherein he picked up some new goggles and dive sticks for the children. Because nothing says CHRIST IS RISEN like DUDE WE CAN OPEN THE POOL SOON!
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