But really, what are scars but conversation pieces you never lose?
But really, what are scars but conversation pieces you never lose?
The first thing I did this morning after getting to work, was to Superglue my fingers to a plastic dinosaur. It was then that I knew today wasn't going to be one of my best.
~Killing a Fly with a Ukulele is Probably the Wrong Thing to Do
Will someone please tell me WHY I get more pimples at the age of 29 than I did at 13? At least at 13 I was PREPARED to be a pizza face, and actually had the TIME AND ENERGY to apply countless potions, gels, and acids in order to sizzle the zittles right out of my skin.
Public Service Announcement: Under no circumstances should you apply Chapstick, lip balm, or any other ointment to your lips prior to cutting grass on a windy day.
One photo of my stretch marks could convince at least 50 girls out of going all the way prom night.
Disease: Hat Head (Planopilicephaly)
Epidemiology: Sporadic cases throughout year; Seasonal peak in the months of May and June. No predilection for race or gender. Children are relatively protected from mass seasonal outbreaks.
Symptoms: Hair assumes flattened distorted shape after wearing popular head accessory. Pain is rare (aside from psychic/ego pain). Plagiocephaly (flattening of skull bones) usually does not occur unless a metal hat is worn (and put on with a sledgehammer). May be associated with Forehead Line and Bang Crush Injury.
If you use the end of your retractable pen to scratch the itch between your boobs, make sure that it is indeed retracted.
I will be the first to tell you if you have spinach in your teeth or if your zipper is down or if you have hair hanging out of your nose and you will love me and appreciate me for it.
My head feels like it could implode at any moment, or maybe explode - I am not clear on which - but it hurts whatever 'ploding it is going to do.
~Mommas Tantrum (who can now be found here)
My body type has been described as "cherubic". It's also been called "curvy", "voluptuous", and "don't worry kid, you'll outgrow that baby fat". The only bone on my body I've ever felt is my chin.
Had I known I was going to put my foot in my mouth, I would have cleaned between my toes a little better.
When my body feels tired, I lay down. When my eyes are heavy, I close them and allow the beautiful oblivion of sleep. When I am hungry, I eat. When my mind is aching for knowledge, I read. When my ears are begging for soothing melodies, I turn on the music and let my soul dance away to another world.
Before my yoga class starts, I pretend to be loosening up my ankles and hips and relaxing and "centering" myself like all of the hard core looking yogis. Usually I'm really examining the cuticles around my toenails.
There's something about red lips that make me feel saucy. Like a vixen. Like all I'd have to do is smile with my ruby red lips and anything is possible.
I chalk just about every physical symptom up to anxiety. I'm thinking my gravestone will read: "She thought it was a panic attack."