Blogtations

In the middle of defending your territory and your naked body

Have you ever looked up at the ceiling while in the shower only to see what looks like a tiny spider crawling towards you from the other side of the room? Have you ever prepared yourself, shower nozzle in hand, to blast that tiny spider from the sanctity of your lair into kingdom come with the water jet set to pulsate? Have you ever let loose a battle cry of, "sheet rock and subfloor be damned!" as you prepared to take aim by crouching in the farthest corner of the shower? Have you ever realized, in the middle of defending your territory and your naked body, that the said "spider" was really just a lady bug? Have you ever had a conversation with a lady bug that was all, "Oh hello Mrs. Lady Bug-I hope thee are well today my fair maiden!"

~Milk Induced Coma

Nicolaus why are you naked?

"Nicolaus...why are you naked?"
"Well you SAID I could change out of those regular clothes when we got home. This is my Indian costume."
"Okay but why are you naked?"
"I'm not. I'm wearing a shirt."
"Right but I can totally see your -"
"I'm also wearing my headband. See? That is so people will know I'm a real Indian and not just a boy with no pants."

~Electric Boogaloo

Here is the thing, son

Here is the thing, son. I need to find a way to explain this so you will understand why it's important to knock. So, I'll be blunt. A lot of the time that Mom and Dad are in their bedroom, they are NAKED. Not only NAKED, but Mom and Dad also like to KISS while NAKED. We like to KISS NAKED A LOT. If you are going to keep barging into our room without knocking, I need to let you know that there is a very good possibility that you are going to see a lot of NAKED KISSING. Unless you knock. Then we have time to not be NAKED and stop KISSING.

~Loralee's Looney Tunes

I have to stress: we're not nudists

I have to stress: we're not nudists. We just like hanging out nude sometimes...in public...with other nude people. What distinguishes us from nudists is that this is not a lifestyle. It's a vacation. We don't play nude volleyball or hang out at trailer camps with nude families. Swimming nude is fun. Eating barbecue nude is not.

~I Do Things So You Don't Have To