Blogtations

I'd like to say

I'd like to say I'll have 3 times as much sex in 2009 as I did in 2008 but my elementary math skills tell me that 3 times 0 is still, sadly, 0.

~Secondhand Tryptophan

If you ever challenge your spouse

If you ever, say, challenge your spouse to a "let's see if we can have sex before the oven timer goes off," be sure you tell people it was a pot-roast, not a batch of cookies.

~Mrs. Flinger

I must accept the reality that

I must accept the reality that I am NOT currently a sex goddess. The Evidence: The only thing in the bedroom that I've dominated and whipped recently is the TV remote.

~Wit's Bitch

Here is the thing, son

Here is the thing, son. I need to find a way to explain this so you will understand why it's important to knock. So, I'll be blunt. A lot of the time that Mom and Dad are in their bedroom, they are NAKED. Not only NAKED, but Mom and Dad also like to KISS while NAKED. We like to KISS NAKED A LOT. If you are going to keep barging into our room without knocking, I need to let you know that there is a very good possibility that you are going to see a lot of NAKED KISSING. Unless you knock. Then we have time to not be NAKED and stop KISSING.

~Loralee's Looney Tunes

Bedroom Secrets of the Suburban Dad

Bedroom Secrets of the Suburban Dad...You think it's hard to pick up a woman in a bar? Puh-leeze. These guys have to convince a woman who has fallen asleep in her clothes reading Thomas the Tank Engine stories that what she really wants right now is some midnight romance under the giant pile of laundry covering the master bed.

~Suburban Kamikaze

"Was it good for you?"

The "Was it good for you?" type of question annoys me to no end. First, if he's paying attention, he already knows the answer. Second, if he has to ask the question, chances are he isn't going to like the answer. Third, if you ask me that question, I'm going to assume you really want to know the answer and I'm going to give it to you.

~It's Hard Work Being This Easy

I like Piña Coladas

I like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, but not making love at midnight. Hey, I have three little kids, I can't just be putting out at all hours of the day and night.

~Paper Napkin