Blogtations

The many steps of potty training

My three and a half year old has been wearing underwear for a year. But relieving herself in the toilet was only one step of potty-training. There are about 40 other steps that are conveniently skipped over in parenting books. The "transition from little potty chair to big potty" step. The "yes, you must flush every time you go potty" step. The "weening from potty-rewards step" (otherwise known as, "no, grown-ups don't get M&Ms for pooping" step.) The "privacy without locking yourself in the bathroom" step. The "not everyone wants to see your new Hello Kitty underwear" step. The "not discussing what mommy is doing in the toilet in public bathrooms" step.

~Pointlessly Hypertechnical

When Mummy goes to the toilet

When Mummy goes to the toilet, it just stays like a normal toilet. It doesn't start playing music, flashing lights or handing out lollies. You know that, do you? Well then why do you ALL have to come and watch me go to the toilet?

~Our Aussie Half-Dozen

My husband cleaned the bathrooms

My husband cleaned the bathrooms, God bless him, but broke the toilet seat off one of the toilets. How is this possible? Broke an entire toilet seat off its hinges? Men, if you're going to help clean the house, don't do it in the manner you would, say, play football. Cleaning a toilet needn't be a race nor a destructive act. It just needs to be wiped down — gently.

~The Junk Drawer

You can lead a child to the toilet

You can lead a child to the toilet, but you cannot make him pee.

~Four by 40

The Ladies room is shared

The Ladies room is shared by 40 of my closest co-workers...Sometimes I walk in there and the joint is rank and I'm tempted to just get on the PA system and say: "Attention library employees. If something is tearing the ass out of you and you're going to blow it up in the Ladies room, for the love of God woman, USE THE SPRAY so I don't feel like I've just stepped into your rotting colon. Thank you."

~Crissy

Daddy?

"Daddy?"
"Yes, Emme?"
"Daddy. Emme has to pee."
"You have to or you did?"
"Have to."
"Alright, do you want to go in the potty?"
"Hmm."
"OK, let's go"
"Emme pees in mommy and daddy's potty."
"OK, sure."
"Emme pees like daddy."
"Yes, you can pee in daddy's potty. Let me get this diaper off..."
"No, Emme pees like daddy."
"What? No, no. You have to sit down. Stop — sit down!"
"Emme's peeing like daddy!"
"Well Emme's going to clean up like daddy, too."

~Cry It Out: Adventures of a stay-at-home dad

This morning I was sitting on the toilet

This morning I was sitting on the toilet doing what one does while sitting on the toilet when I realized the bathroom window was open. How did I realize that? A big gust of wind came along and blew the curtain aside leaving me and all my pants-around-the-ankles glory exposed to the 3 roofers working on the house next door. I hope they enjoyed the show. And by "show" I mean the slapstick comedy that occurred when I sprang up from the toilet, lunged towards the window, tripped over my own pants and nearly crashed through the screen. All without actually managing to close the curtain so that it was just me and my naked ass pressed up against the window.

~Problem Girl

To the woman who keeps leaving a pile of toilet paper next to the toilet in the woman's bathroom. Stop it!

~Dancing About Architecture 

Does toilet paper have some type of medicinal use that I don't know about? I have no idea how a roll of TP disappeared in three days when only one of my guests was a female.

~I Don't Make This Stuff Up

If you have not yet dropped your iPhone in the toilet, consider NOT dropping your iPhone in the toilet. This is a solid course of action, in my opinion, and one that can be easily achieved by not keeping your iPhone in your back pocket, unless your back pocket has a button, but if that's the case, you probably aren't cool enough to own an iPhone in the first place, no?

~Amalah